Quote of the day Part 4

I wonder if others understand how their emotions can affect others…

I wonder if  others understand how their actions affect others…

I wonder if others understand how after their actions there’s a reaction from others…

I wonder if others understand how not having and understanding of their emotions and actions leaves the mind open to wonder…

Here’s my point:

I wonder…

Rhonda Richardson(Writer)


START with your happiness FIRST

We all want to be happy in life. Whether it’s being a happy homeowner. Happily married with children. Happy with the career of your dreams. We also want other’s around us to be happy. Have you ever noticed within yourself, the things we have said and done for other’s, including placing our needs to the back burner?
Let me share a few examples I realized about myself. Being the bearer of other’s happiness.

The Financial Crutch:

I found myself allowing people to depend on me. I would make myself available as if I were a 24 hour 7 eleven’s ATM. Don’t get me wrong, I believe we all need a helping hand every now and then.

It wasn’t until I literally became flat broke, I discovered a few things.
This is when I learned their were people who felt I let them down. A few choice words from both sides were said because of me not being able to “fix” things.

Solution to NOT being the financial crutch:

I can still assist but there has to be a cut off point. Example after going through my budget, let’s say I incorporate $50.00 a month as the allotted amount for financial assistance.
I made a firm decision not to go over this amount. Ensured I’d make it clear to the person(s) I’m assisting the allotted monthly amount is final.

The Emotional Crutch:

What we all have in common as human beings is, we all struggle with something. Some more than others. There were times I found myself having therapy sessions, free of charge. I made those persons problems my problems that I had to fix it. Wouldn’t rest until I did.

I convinced myself, I’m a tough cookie, who can take on anything. I’d be alright when my own personal crisis came up, I got it under control. This way of thinking, was wrong.
At one point never did get around to my own situations. They just piled up. The pile was so high and overwhelming it caused me to become emotionally unstable. This led to making irrational decisions for myself.

Solution to NOT being the emotional crutch:

I had to deal with my own situations and emotions first. The saying is true, how can you help someone else, if you can’t even help yourself first.

Here’s my point:

Within these two examples of the Financial crutch and the Emotional crutch, we need to be able to balance our own situations first. It doesn’t make you a bad, uncaring, selfish person.

When a helping hand is needed, be sure you’re positioned first.
Truth be told, you can’t give what you don’t have. How fair will that be to yourself?

I get it now…

March 1, 2008, I lost someone very dear to me. This person was my dad. He was more than a dad to me, he was my friend.

My dad wasn’t a perfect man, he did the very best he could to be apart of my life since the beginning of mine on April 13, 1978. One of things I will always cherish is, he would  talk with me and share stories. (which I think is a family trait)

There was something my dad had been battling with ever since I’ve known him. This was alcoholism. Now from me knowing my dad, he was a functional drinker. In a sense he had it “Under control”. While in his addiction he maintained a stable job for over 25 years in which he retired from. However, there were a few situations were he had seizures behind this addiction.

One time, while I was on vacation in Cancun, Mexico, I return to find my dad in the hospital.He fell down a flight of steps at the Main Post Office back home in Philly. These steps are marble. When he fell, it was head first.

While in the hospital, he was connected to a bunch of tubs, and talking gibberish. This was the very first time seeing my dad in the hospital and learning why he was there. That was also the first time I learned how this form of addiction can cause medical conditions.

About a year or so later, same thing again. My dad had to be hospitalized. Had another seizure but this time, he was having trouble walking. He had to under go Physical therapy before beginning discharged. This was very heartbreaking for me to witness. It was like teaching a child how to walk. But he was my dad. I stayed to help, because he was my dad.

This last time in the hospital, he could not be released without supervision because of the falls and head injuries. I signed up, because he was my dad.

To go back to when I mentioned my dad always talked with me. During those times of drinking, my dad shared with me some of his hurts. When expressing them, I could tell he was angry, felt used and was tired of people. Especially when he was told by a few all they have done for him.He was able to share even more stories with me when he retired from his job.This is when, his drinking became uncontrolled.All he had was time, but nothing to do with it.

There was stories he shared when he’d express how he himself tried to help others out and he did. But in his time of need, there was no one to be found.

I too had shared a few of my dads battles. Especially an alcohol addiction.Felt I had it “under control”. I wanted to take care of everybody because in a few chapters in my life, I had steady work.So I shared whenever someone needed help.

It was when I was laid off work a few years back, the depression kicked in and my drinking became “uncontrolled”. I felt the world was against me. I couldn’t catch a break. Couldn’t provide for myself and my kids. It was like a dark cloud followed me for years. No matter how hard I tried to shake it, it wouldn’t go away.

So, my outlet was drinking. I convinced myself, I was cool. I’m not bothering anybody. I’m grown I can do what I want no matter what anybody says or thinks.

There was a gentleman neighbor I had a few years back. He was a drinker. I lost touch with him. Some how we made contact. When we did, for a whole week straight we drank. He called me in the morning, had a ride to pick me up. We went to the liquor store, got what we both drank.

Throughout the week hanging out with him, this gentleman would hardly eat anything. And he was drinking liquor. FYI every drinker knows before you drink any white or dark liquor you have to put something on your stomach.

I was trying my best to make sure he would eat. I’d clean his house and everything. On that 8th day, I decided not to hang out with him. It was becoming too much work trying to take care of a grown person when I could barely take care of myself at that time.

On that 11th day, I got a call from the driver who came to pick me during me and the gentleman’s drinking week. This person informed me that the gentleman was found in his apartment, unconscious. He had falling and hit his head, and he had passed away.

Here’s my point:

I GET IT NOW…After hearing he passed. I said out loud, “Man I don’t even want to drink anymore”. I was supposed to hang out with him for that week to see what I was doing to myself. Because the whole time I’m trying to get him to eat and fix his place up, I wasn’t even doing these things for myself. And the rate I was going, I had to bare witness of the outcome.

I didn’t get it the first time, placed in a situation to learn and received a message. I believe I didn’t really pay attention to the message because the person used to show me the message was my dad. I was so heartbroken that I felt a part of me died too. I was too focused on my pain.

I prayed to God asking him to remove the taste of alcohol out of my mouth. He did. It has been a little over two years now for me…Alcohol free. I realized never needed it anyways…When you ask God something it will be added upon you…


Glam mom’s under 40

As of October 16, 2016, I have joined the Glam mom club Also know as the Grand mom club. The latter part was a little too old school for me. Haha Had to spice it up a bit…No shade to those who utilize the term.

Since joining the club, it has been hard to find the words to express this new-found role I play. What I can say is this little guy melts my heart.

Here’s my point:

I will be the best Glam mom under 40 I can be…to be continued…



Do you know you?

I’ve been with my current employer  for a little over a year now. Earlier today, went back in my memory bank to a conversation I had with one of my co-workers. In the conversation she mentioned, our Supervisor brought my name up.She was trying to assist a new employee to figure out who I was.

She said, You’ll know her ,she’s always smiling and bubbly. But, if she isn’t something is wrong. I cracked up laughing.  I said yes she’s right!! Haha But at the same time, it reminded me of Emotional Intelligence.

Here’s my point:

People pay attention to your emotions. Do you pay attention to your emotions?

Living in your own world, in the world

Here’s a question that compelled me to share my thoughts.


How have you seen individualism influence families you know?

I did a word search for, Individualism.

One definition reads:The pursuit of individual rather than common or collective interest”.

Here’s a verse which coincides with my thoughts.

Judges 21:25

“In those days there was no King in Israel: every man did which was right in his own eyes.” KJV

From conducting research, it seems individualism can be concerned a controversial philosophy.

From my standpoint, yes we all have to take care and look out for ourselves and our families as best as we can. If you don’t no one else will. BUT, at the same time it shouldn’t be practiced or manipulated in any way where it can cause harm to others in some form or fashion.

Morals  and values are being surpressed.Or just simply doing what’s right isn’t being practiced.A blind eye and deaf ear is pretty popular now a days. Just to add, there are a few situations where minding your business would be best and safer, but in one of my experiences I expressed, minding your business didn’t apply. It was practiced, every man for himself.

Within, “Neighbors can’t live with them or without them, Parts 1 and 2″, I shared situations and circumstances involving a relationship filled with verbal abuse, and humiliation. Also, neighbors whom weren’t so neighborly.

Before proceeding on, expressing my experiences and thoughts.The mission is not to spread malice, judgement or even ridicule towards the people I am referencing in my expressions.

I’ve witnessed how people are the ONLY standards of their own lives. Referring back to my post mentioned above, one neighbor found it entertaining, being publicly humiliated. It seemed her philosophy was, this isn’t my problem or my man, I don’t want to get involved, but I will watch.

The gentleman neighbor with the legal situation, it seemed his philosophy was, this is my problem that I don’t want to be involved with, I need a scapegoat.

Here’s my points:

What’s happened to Mark 12:31

” The second is this, Love your neighbor as yourself”. There is no commandment greater than these.” NIV.

Not saying the lady neighbor had to run out in the street with me throwing jabs and upper cuts to beat the guy down. Nor I am saying the gentleman neighbor had to turn himself in once he was aware of his legal situation that he sent my way. What I would like to say is this form of individualism is something I will not pursue or encourage.

These examples have made  me realize the importance of being apart of a mission geared towards building up our communities because outreach is needed in every area of all our lives. Teamwork makes the dream work.

One of the reasons I am proud to be a Circles Leader of Circles Metro Atlanta East Chapter is simple, I’ve been introduced to an extended family. A family where we all come together from different income levels, backgrounds, walks of life with an understanding of each other’s struggles and aspirations.

I would like to encourage everyone, if you are compelled as I was to answer this question, please do and share. RESPECTFUL discussions and comments are welcomed.


Neighbors, can’t live with them or without them Part 2

In my first post, Neighbors can’t live  them or without them, I spoke of a gentleman I was dealing with during one of the darkest times of my life. Him and I had an argument, and one of my neighbors at the time found it entertaining.

This man humiliated me for no reason at all. This takes me back to that same time with another neighbor who lived directly across from me. We were neighbors for about 3 years.

The thing about this neighbor he was the candyman. His apartment was the complex’s convenient store. You name it he had it for sell. As time went on, it became evident he sold more the candy.

This neighbor was so embedded in this product that some how this information got back to the leasing manager. He was asked to leave. He left being escorted out by the local Marshall department.

So, I am like okay, now there will be peace. No loud music all times out night. People running in and out all times of night. No more people knocking on my door looking for the Candy man or asking me when he’d be back or if he had left me anything to “Sell” for him.(People are something else).

Once he left I thought everything would be everything.I was wrong. One morning about 1 a.m., there was a loud knock on my door. Like a policeman’s knock. I go to look out the peck whole, and it was a policeman.

As I open the door, this police office along with two other MALE police officers ask for a male and he stated the man’s given name. I had no idea to whom he was referring to until I was shown this man’s picture.

In disbelieve it was my neighbor the Candy man. At some point he had gotten into some legal situation and used my address as his place of residence. My neighbors, you gotta love them.

Here’s my point:

Be careful of the company you keep, this includes neighbors.

Don’t just look back, say something

Back home in Philly there’s a concert every year called “The Powerhouse”. I’ve had the opportunity to attend quit a few.

On October 30, 1995, my son’s father and I attended. I can’t recall all of the performers, as a matter of fact I can’t recall any of the them Hahaha. I do recall seeing one of my older brothers that night.

He was in our neighborhood down Da Bottom, standing in front of the Chinese store. My son’s father went into the store, spoke with my brother for a minute or two.

I stayed in the car because our son was in the car seat in the backseat. Looking back on my son I could see my brother, who we called Block (because he had a block head) Hahaha standing on the Chinese store steps.

At that time I was 17 years old, with a month and a half-year old son, still in High School, no job and on welfare. However, I understood my life changed and wasn’t just responsible for myself. I was ready to take on my new role. This is something I wanted to express to my brother.

My brother embraced the fact that I had a child, but hey he was a big brother. He may have been slightly displeased, but he was still there for me.

When my son’s father returned back to the car, I was still looking at my brother I remember saying, I wanna get out and have a heart to heart with my brother. It was just something I felt I should have done. I really can’t explain it I just remember the feeling.

We ended up driving off and I said to myself, I’ll just rap with him when I see him again.

The next time I saw my brother Block, was on November 1, 1995. He had passed away from a drug overdose.


Here’s my point: