Originally posted on Okoto Enigma: First of all, if you reblog this post you help me, I help you and you help your readers, so everyone wins. Hey everyone; welcome back to my not so new blog subject called “share your link Friday” I did it for the first time last week Friday;?click here to…
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There’s a young lady I’ve grown to know over the past 3 months or so. She’s an all around cool person, usually in good spirits.
The last time I spoke with her she wasn’t in good spirits. She said something that bothered me. I greeted her as always asking if she was alright. Her reply was, ” No, it seems when I try to take two steps forward, I get pushed back 3 steps.” My response was, “Keep pushing.”
My friend then said, “It may be better for everybody if I were dead”. This time I did not respond, instead I prayed for her, because it seemed she was in “pity party mode”. Been there, done that.
As the day went along, I began to reflect back to a time when the same words came out of my mouth.
One of the times I adopted a character and personality that was me but wasn’t me. Which led to hanging with the wrong crowd of people. Don’t get me wrong, they were good people, just not the people who I needed to “Vent” with during my time of despair.
It seemed to be a good idea at the time, to hang with people who were in “The Struggle” like me. We would go on and on about all the trials and tribulations we had. The people who got on our nerves, pissed us of to the point where emotions would take over and a few choice words were said. Spilling our guts, business all out in the street, and plenty of pity parties.You know the ones, Oh, Lord why Me? My mindset said, “Yea they feel me”.
Sometimes we as people lean on the same kind of approach to rough times not realizing that that’s the problem.
I realized, there will be no resolution if I continue to think, act, talk and hang with the same old same old. Staying, promoted negative thoughts and behavior. A lot of times the people we “Vent” to really don’t want to hear what we are saying anyways, now we become a pain in the butt or a drag.
It’s alright to let go of the people, places and things that we’re used to. Not saying love is lost, but if we’re looking to elevate, we have to get on the elevator a push the bottom that will take you to the top.
Here’s my point:
We ask God to provide a way, then that’s all we do, just Ask. I’ve realized in my own life this. Asking God, Lord, help me with this, remove that. Didn’t get He was doing so. Introducing me to a NEW approach but I stayed in pity party mode.
Had to really dig up on myself. I was in my own way.
We have to be mindful of what we ask God for and be ready for His answers. He answers prayers. The question at hand is, How will you respond?
I am a Circle Leader within an organization called Circles. The purpose of this organization is to help families in poverty “THRIVE” not just “SURVIVE”.
The Metro Atlanta East Chapter first class completed training December 8, 2015.We still met every other week.
During one of our meetings, there was an exercise entitled, “Gratitude Journal”.
It had 4 parts:
- Morning Gratitude Prayer
- What I’m Learning from my challenges
- People I’m thankful for
- The best part of my day
My job came to mind to help me complete this exercise.When I started a year ago, was grateful for the position, but at the same time it was challenging. With all the extra work, low pay, difficult people, micromanagement, was feeling I had to get out of there ASAP.
As time went on I began to learn the challenges were placed to help me understand the bigger picture. I am fully aware of my Gift of Communication.Being placed at the Hartsfield Atlanta Airport working as a Janitor, the opportunity of this gift blossoms each day to its intentional need and purpose.
There has been many of times, I was just running my mouth a mile a minute(LOL) joking around etc. People have come to me and said, Thank you for your joyful spirit because it’s needed.Or I needed to hear that. The best one yet, I can tell you know the Lord.
I’m learning God wants me to be equipped with the strength and tools He needs me to have in order to enter into the next phase of my mission.So, I need to practice endurance and have patience.
I’m thankful for my blood family and extended family within Circles . My family has helped me hang in there, and realize not to quit my job behind the emotions I was feeling in the beginning. Had I quit, I’m sure the message for me would not have been received.
There’s a quote that makes a lot of sense to me.“I knew who I was this morning, I’ve changed a few times since then – Lewis Carroll”.
The best part of my day is after work. I sit outside the airport, and reflect back on the events of that day. No matter how big or small, something changed. Whether it was an emotion, a thought etc. With the change discovered, I try to apply it and share.That was a pretty good classroom exercise.
Here’s my point:
Change is good and needed. There’s work to be done on each persons part affiliated with Circles. We are ready and teachable. Open to other ideas in order to reach what we’re reaching for.
Would like to say THANK YOU, Mr. Scott Miller, founder of Circles.
I was watching Stevie Harvey show today. A woman got up seeking advice pertaining to an uncomfortable situation she had been facing for quit some time.This woman is married and her husband’s family would host family gatherings. On the invite list was his Ex-Wife for each gathering.
From listening to this woman and reading her body language it was evident, she’d felt uncomfortable and displaced. She mentioned she would isolate herself from the party behind these feelings. Like go in the kitchen and do dishes or something.
This took me back to a time where I’ve felt this form of discomfort. I was never married to my son’s father but we had a relationship and a son. After we broke up, when my son was very young, it took some time but I got over it.
Here’s how it felt uncomfortable for me. At that time me and my sons grandmom lived right next door to one another (For years). We could open our doors and literally see in each other’s apartments. We did that a lot. During that time, in the projects we lived in, it was a thing we could do.
At that time we did have a good relationship, despite her son and I not being in one. She acknowledged me as her grandson’s mother. I truly appreciated that. However, I couldn’t understand how it was okay for her son to have a current girlfriend over and he’d just walk pass his son and I as if we did not exist.
Not sharing to discredit her or him but instead, sharing my “Emotional status”. It was very uncomfortable. Weird energy I had to face, and looks. Even senseless arguments.
It was even weird for my son’s father because he had to prove a point to his current girlfriend him and I weren’t “messing around”. That was a portion of why he wasn’t in our son’s life as much as he should have been.
This one girlfriend was a trip, had to the nerve to knock on my door.At an inappropriate time of night, drunk talking crazy ready to fight.I was mad so, we fought. The thing was him and I were not together, and they weren’t either. He only gave me and ride to the store that night.But it made sense after deep thought, I had something she didn’t, a son by him, and she had a problem with that.
Here’s my point:
I never did any harm or say anything bad to this woman, but it didn’t matter. I had to realize this woman was envious of my position as baby mom. From her negative actions towards me,she wanted the role of baby mom and/or wifey.
Not sure the reasons behind their break-up, but she was angry, and took it out on me. I realized this woman would rather create animosity towards me, instead of just simply moving on with her life.
For me I had to check myself as well. I can’t control who likes me or not, but I can control how I respond. I was mad at myself after I went toe to toe with this lady. But you know what each time I saw her after that, I just walked in the opposite direction. Never had any more issues with her since then.
There was a time in my life where I felt alone. Was walking in my own”wilderness” for years. Didn’t have the confidence I once had.
But while in my “wilderness” is where God met me. I’ve come to realize it’s good to be alone. Being stripped of everything I knew, meaning people places and things, helped me to focus on where all my helps comes from.
Was able to realize during my journey, yes there were family and friends who helped me along the way. For that, I will be forever grateful, but I was becoming too DEPEND on them at times. That was very unfair on my part.
Leaning on people, who had their own situations, ups and downs.Dealing with their own lives. Lost sight of my own gifts that were given to me “FREELY”.
Don’t get me wrong we all need a good support system, but reaching inside oneself, getting a better understanding of oneself is essential to ones personal growth.
I read a passage about a young lady whose life was turned upside down. She was involved with an older man. To make a long story short, from reading the passage the older man knew the right things to say and do to “HOOK THE YOUNG LADY”.
It turns out the young lady contracted HIV and became pregnant. The older man wanted nothing else to do with her. Did I mention he was married.
This took me back to a time when I was no more than 11 years old. I lived in the projects back home in West Philly. During that time, at that age it was cool to go outside by myself.
Was hanging out in front of the building because my mom could see me while she sat on the porch. Needed to go to the bathroom, yelled up to my mom to tell her I was coming up.
Went into the building the catch the elevator. There was an OLDER MAN who got on too. He pushed his floor, I pushed mine. As we’re going up, this OLDER MAN turned and looked at me and said”Do you want to make some money”. I said, “NO”.
How he asked, it felt weird, scary and creepy. He just kept looking at me, as if he were undressing me with his eyes. As I said I was only 11 years old, this man had to be in his late 40’s early 50’s.
He was getting off before me, when the elevator door opened, he asked me again, I said “NO”. This man had the nerve to ask me if I was sure. I said “yes I’m sure I don’t want to make any money.”
He left never saw him again.
I told my mom and she went all the way to another planet. Not to mention my dad went to two other planets.
I share this because of the young lady. What has happened to her, could have been my situation had I said yes to the older man on the elevator.
I thank this young lady for helping me bring up something I tried to bury.
This is an everybody issue. Sexual predators are everywhere. They use all kinds of techniques. This young ladies story has inspired me to share and ask of others to share.
Most of all PAY ATTENTION TO HOW YOU FEEL. If it doesn’t feel right, no matter how good that watch looks on your wrist.No matter how much you can call on “BIG DADDY” and he’ll come through with whatever you need. That’s BS. “BIG DADDY” just wants to mold you into what he needs you to be ,when he wants you to, until he’s tired of you.
It will help to STOP this cycle by sharing the signs.
What does this man say to you?
When does he say it ?
What time of day or night?
Does he whisper a lot?
Does he even have enough respect for you to call you by your name while on the phone, instead of saying Hey, baby girl? (just to name a few questions to ask)
Check your mind, heart, and spirit. If 1 of the 3 aren’t in a good space, something ain’t right.
Avoiding these kinds of propositions can be very tough if you come from a broken home. You yourself are broken from always being broke. All kinds of abuse, no real support system. A lot of times kids have to raise themselves, and grow up way before their time. And lean on the street life looking for “LOVE”.
This is the purpose of SHARING our stories. Social media is at an all time high. People share everything. It would be beneficial to countless young ladies to share wisely.