How will you respond?

friendships

There’s a young lady I’ve grown to know over the past 3 months or so. She’s an all around cool person, usually in good spirits.

The last time I spoke with her she wasn’t in good spirits. She said something that bothered me. I greeted her as always asking if she was alright. Her reply was, ” No, it seems when I try to take two steps forward, I get pushed back 3 steps.” My response was, “Keep pushing.”

My friend then said, “It may be better for everybody if I were dead”. This time I did not respond, instead I prayed for her, because it seemed she was in “pity party mode”. Been there, done that.

As the day went along, I began to reflect back to a time when the same words came out of my mouth.

One of the times I  adopted a character and personality that was me but wasn’t me. Which led to hanging with the wrong crowd of people. Don’t get me wrong, they were good people, just not the people who I needed to “Vent” with during my time of despair.

It seemed to be a good idea at the time, to hang with people who were in “The Struggle” like me. We would go on and on about all the trials and tribulations we had. The people who got on our nerves, pissed us of to the point where emotions would take over and a few choice words were said. Spilling our guts, business all out in the street, and plenty of pity parties.You know the ones, Oh, Lord why Me? My mindset said, “Yea they feel me”.

Sometimes we as people lean on the same kind of approach to rough times not realizing that that’s the problem.

I realized, there will be no resolution if I continue to think, act, talk and hang with the same old same old. Staying, promoted negative thoughts and behavior. A lot of times the people we “Vent” to really don’t want to hear what we are saying anyways, now we become a pain in the butt or a drag.

It’s alright to let go of the people, places and things that we’re used to. Not saying love is lost, but if we’re looking to elevate, we have to get on the elevator a push the bottom that will take you to the top.

Here’s my point:

We ask God to provide a way, then that’s all we do, just Ask. I’ve realized in my own life this. Asking God, Lord, help me with this, remove that. Didn’t get He was doing so. Introducing me to a NEW approach but I stayed in pity party mode.

Had to really dig up on myself. I was in my own way.

We have to be mindful of what we ask God for and be ready for  His answers. He answers prayers. The question at hand is, How will you respond?

 

Do you have a match?

alittlesparkle

It’s easy for me to  “Spark” up a conversation with anyone, anywhere and at anytime. Working as a Janitor at the Hartsfield Atlanta Airport contributes to utilizing this gift.

Whenever I’m assigned to police the women’s restroom on a work day, normally I would greet women by saying, “Hello, come on in and have a seat” or  “Come on in, we’re open for business.”These two statements has caused women to crack up laughing. Invited others to add to the sentences, which led to “Sparking” up conversations. They’re “Inviting statements”. 

There we were in a “Public Restroom”, which pretty much has a reputation as a place that people are caution of using because they’re normally in bad shape, but in the ATL restrooms we have a girls night out Shawty.

One time a woman left, then came back and  said to me, “Thank you for being you. I was having a bad day and your joyous spirit helped me.” When she approached me, I didn’t recall seeing this woman enter the restroom that day.I gave her a hug because that touched me. It confirmed that, I was doing something right by sharing the joy I have in my heart.

Here’s my point:

You never know what someone maybe dealing with or going through. Also, you never know who is listening and watching.

When you have  “Joy in your heart”, share it with others.It won’t hurt to “Spark” up a conversation.

 

Going along with the flow

A few years ago, life’s circumstances had me in a bad space. I found myself in a position where I would just “deal with” or”just accept “people, places and things. Even if it meant feeling and being treated as if I didn’t deserve to be respected as a person.

During that chapter, I was involved with a man. Once again, I felt I’d met a man who was my knight in shining armor(in reference to a previous post”Ask the right questions”). When we met my electric was disconnected. I was flat broke. Didn’t even have a penny with a hole in it.

Whoever was in my eyesight at the time was going to hear my heart cry out for “HELP”., this man decided to assist me. My focus was on my situations/circumstances.I needed to do whatever needed to be done to bring balance back into my life. However, there was a “hidden agenda” this man had.

Let me begin by saying, he was very Charming. Said, and did all the right things, which caused me to ignore the “Red Flags”. Out of nowhere, he decided to pay my electric bill and flat-out tell me, he wanted to be with me. Out of an act of desperation, I went along with it, no questions asked. Then, his mask came off.

The very same day, my electric was turned back on, him and I had a disagreement. This man took a trip to another planet. It was one I would never want to visit. As I said, it was a disagreement, that was an easy fix, but to him it was a sign of disrespect. He became so enraged not to mention, I was called everything but a child of God.

He went on and on about how he didn’t need me, I needed him. How I needed to respect him as “The Man of the house”. He made this big performance so all my neighbors could see and hear. There it was, the hidden agenda.

Here’s my point, There are people in this world who are, “Predators”. This man had no intentions on, helping me or building a genuine and unconditional relationship with me.

The intent, was to “Break Me”.  I was in a vulnerable state, in which he took advantage of. From his actions and what he would say, it was”Do as I need you to do or else”, be how I need you to be. He pretty much TRIED to shape me to his liking for his own personal gratifications.

I was to serve him.When he said jump, I was to say how high. The thing is he thought he’d had me in the palm of his hand, but he was wrong. Because he was NOT my GOD.

I knew and know who my God is, and the God I serve is Love.

Psalm 118:8 says,

It is better to take refuge in the LORD, than trust in man”.

I put this verse into practice within my life, and got away from that man when God made it possible.

It made sense. Yes, in this life, I will have circumstances, but my circumstances don’t have me.And Respect is mandatory.

 

 

 

Daily Prompt: Dilemma

via Daily Prompt: Dilemma

Back on December 16, 2006 , I had an experience that changed my life. It was one of those situations of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

In my hometown of Philly, I grew up in an area called Da Bottom. It was just that. Full of good and bad times.It’s apart of town where everything goes on drug dealing, shootings, robberies, killings you name it, was and is there.

On this night I was getting myself ready to have a good time with my co-workers the next day. We were having a Christmas party. I never made it to the party.

Was on my way to one of the local stores, when all of a sudden shooting broke out. I ducked in front of a van until it stopped, then it started again. So I ran back towards my apartment complex.

Once I got into my apartment complex, started feeling pressure in my lower back. Took one hand to feel, only to see the palm of my hand full of blood. I’ve been shot in the back.

Thank God, I survived. Had to go to physical therapy for a few months to get my body back in shape, but my mental state was all out of shape.

I was living in fear. My thoughts were all over the place. Were the shooters looking for me? Would they try to kidnap my kids so I wouldn’t snitch?  I was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown.

The idea of relocating to another state was brought to my attention by a co-worker. Did my research on Atlanta, GA. It took about a year or so to get everything in order. Only to find out I needed to have permission from the state to relocate my daughter. Here’s where the DILEMMA kicks in.

There was a Child Custody and Child Support order in place with me and my daughter’s father. There had to be a court hearing in place BEFORE I could relocate with her. The court calendar was booked for the whole year.

I spoke with my daughter’s father to see if we could negotiate, no luck. I had already made arrangements with the house in Atlanta, Georgia. I paid the security deposit, had furniture, food. Found out about the schools, bus line, had things in order. Accept, the court hearing date.

I had no clue what to do. Didn’t want to get into any trouble for kidnapping or anything, but at the same time I was going to lose my mind if I stayed. The only thing I could think to do is leave and take my chances with the courts.

So we left for Atlanta,Georgia. That was on April 1, 2008, and we are still here. It turns out, magically I was able to get a court hearing date June 2008. We came back for court. My daughter’s father didn’t show up because he had a bench warrant out for non-payment of child support.

The judge read my petition. Granted me permission. She also expressed to me  had my daughter’s father shown up she would have had him arrested. Also, it was a good thing I was doing for me and my children and said Don’t let anybody tell me anything different.

The hearing last for about 15 minutes. Case closed.

For Every Irritation God has Inspiration

I’ve had many  irritating moments for a number of different reasons. So many, I can’t even share them all. What I can say is, I was irritated because “Emotions” got the best of me. Most of the time is was an “Angry” one.

This emotion caused me to say and do things that didn’t line up with my “Intentional Characteristics“. Don’t get me wrong sometimes you do have to blow off some steam, or let people know, not to try your gangsta LOL. But, for me, I went to different planets. This brought out the “crazy lady Roxanne”.(My alter ego).

I became irritated with myself.  Had no “Control of my emotions”. Not having control  ALLOWED my emotions to dictate my circumstances, which led to my not so good actions at times.

I’ve been known to be  “A little firecracker” from time to time LOL. Running around acting crazy, but at the same time, was cool. While in “my  wilderness” a few years back, lost control all around the board.

Would go back to things that happened years ago that made me angry. Went all the way back somewhere, brought it to the present moment, only to get angry as H. E. Double Hockey Stick.  Angry, because people didn’t respond or listen to me the way I wanted them to.

Angry, because I felt people were trying to dictate my life. My favorite line was, “I’M GROWN YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO” LOL. Was driving myself insane and creating my own madness. To add ,some was self-inflicted, other stuff I didn’t deserve from other people.

Sitting around revisiting Old stuff wasn’t getting me anywhere.It hit me one day. I was stuck in “OLD SEASONS”. Had to do something about that.

I had to think about what I was thinking about”. In doing this, was able to practice “controlling my emotions”, that led to controlling my ACTIONS.

Here’s my point(s):

Philippians 3:13-14 says:

13) No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not received it but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,

14) I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

Letting go of the past does not mean forgetting about it or deleting  it all together. The past that includes people, places and things affiliated with that time, there’s no way to forget. It can be suppressed, but it’s still there.

For me it meant, forgetting all the past mistakes, sins, failures, relationships, just to name a few things I kept holding on to. Had I continued, it would still take away from my spiritual and emotional growth and moving forward, to what’s ahead of me. My actions had to line up with what it takes to move forward, “After Forgetting”

One things for certain, two things for sure, I’m in no position to control anybody else, But Rhonda.

I’ve learned, to learn from my past. I can’t change what was said or happened, nor should I hang onto it because I didn’t like to end result.

Like missed opportunities, that’s ok still keep pushing.Focus on what I need to do different if and when the opportunity presents itself again.

Communication is one of my gifts. I run my mouth all the time, just needed to and still working on my presentation/approach when dealing  with people, places and things.

I have realized, there’s better ways of handling people, places, and things without turning into Roxanne. So, I am grateful for being irritated at times, it has truly inspired me.

The lady in the wheelchair

A few months ago, I was  really frustrated with my job. I felt over worked and under paid. It was hard making needs meet. Living paycheck to paycheck was getting on my last nerve .

My electric bill was due(and a few other things). So, I’m sitting there trying to figure out how to pay everybody and not get cut off or have to pay a late fee.

It came down to being short $100.00 for my Electric bill. Talk about being stressed. Had my electricity been cut off(which everything in my apartment is Total Electric), I would not have been able to function. Not to mention, the whole bill plus a reconnection fee would need to be paid to have electric service turned back on.

Went to work the day after figuring out my financial rut. Was assigned to police one of the women’s restrooms.

Went along with my normal greetings, “Hi, come on in and have a sit”, Or “Come on in we’re open for business”.  In comes a lady being pushed in a wheelchair. All I said to her was come on in young lady(With a smile).Didn’t add have a sit because she was already sitting.

After she did all she needed to do, I was directing traffic. As the lady in the wheelchair was getting ready to leave she placed something in my hand.

I said thank you and placed it in my pocket. After the traffic died down, went ahead and cleaned the stalls, wiped the counters down, then put my hand in my pocket to see what it was.

It was a tip, of a $100 dollar bill.

Here’s my point

Philippians 4: 5-6 says,

5Let your gentleness be obvious to everyone. The Lord is near. 6Be anxious for nothing, but ineverything, by prayer and petition, withthanksgiving, present your requests to God

Going over these two verses had me saying to myself, Self had you not been your bubbly self it may not have been placed on the lady in the wheelchair spirit to give the gift, that just so happen to be the exact amount need to pay  my electric bill in full.

Once we pray, let it go because God already worked it out. Why pray and worry?

I didn’t know and still don’t know who the lady in the wheelchair was.We didn’t have a conversation. But I know who her Father is.

I think about that lady all the time, would really like to give her a big hug and tell her thank you for  being a helper.