Do you know you?

I’ve been with my current employer  for a little over a year now. Earlier today, went back in my memory bank to a conversation I had with one of my co-workers. In the conversation she mentioned, our Supervisor brought my name up.She was trying to assist a new employee to figure out who I was.

She said, You’ll know her ,she’s always smiling and bubbly. But, if she isn’t something is wrong. I cracked up laughing.  I said yes she’s right!! Haha But at the same time, it reminded me of Emotional Intelligence.

Here’s my point:

People pay attention to your emotions. Do you pay attention to your emotions?

Living in your own world, in the world

Here’s a question that compelled me to share my thoughts.

Question:

How have you seen individualism influence families you know?

I did a word search for, Individualism.

One definition reads:The pursuit of individual rather than common or collective interest”.

Here’s a verse which coincides with my thoughts.

Judges 21:25

“In those days there was no King in Israel: every man did which was right in his own eyes.” KJV

From conducting research, it seems individualism can be concerned a controversial philosophy.

From my standpoint, yes we all have to take care and look out for ourselves and our families as best as we can. If you don’t no one else will. BUT, at the same time it shouldn’t be practiced or manipulated in any way where it can cause harm to others in some form or fashion.

Morals  and values are being surpressed.Or just simply doing what’s right isn’t being practiced.A blind eye and deaf ear is pretty popular now a days. Just to add, there are a few situations where minding your business would be best and safer, but in one of my experiences I expressed, minding your business didn’t apply. It was practiced, every man for himself.

Within, “Neighbors can’t live with them or without them, Parts 1 and 2″, I shared situations and circumstances involving a relationship filled with verbal abuse, and humiliation. Also, neighbors whom weren’t so neighborly.

Before proceeding on, expressing my experiences and thoughts.The mission is not to spread malice, judgement or even ridicule towards the people I am referencing in my expressions.

I’ve witnessed how people are the ONLY standards of their own lives. Referring back to my post mentioned above, one neighbor found it entertaining, being publicly humiliated. It seemed her philosophy was, this isn’t my problem or my man, I don’t want to get involved, but I will watch.

The gentleman neighbor with the legal situation, it seemed his philosophy was, this is my problem that I don’t want to be involved with, I need a scapegoat.

Here’s my points:

What’s happened to Mark 12:31

” The second is this, Love your neighbor as yourself”. There is no commandment greater than these.” NIV.

Not saying the lady neighbor had to run out in the street with me throwing jabs and upper cuts to beat the guy down. Nor I am saying the gentleman neighbor had to turn himself in once he was aware of his legal situation that he sent my way. What I would like to say is this form of individualism is something I will not pursue or encourage.

These examples have made  me realize the importance of being apart of a mission geared towards building up our communities because outreach is needed in every area of all our lives. Teamwork makes the dream work.

One of the reasons I am proud to be a Circles Leader of Circles Metro Atlanta East Chapter is simple, I’ve been introduced to an extended family. A family where we all come together from different income levels, backgrounds, walks of life with an understanding of each other’s struggles and aspirations.

I would like to encourage everyone, if you are compelled as I was to answer this question, please do and share. RESPECTFUL discussions and comments are welcomed.

 

Don’t just look back, say something

Back home in Philly there’s a concert every year called “The Powerhouse”. I’ve had the opportunity to attend quit a few.

On October 30, 1995, my son’s father and I attended. I can’t recall all of the performers, as a matter of fact I can’t recall any of the them Hahaha. I do recall seeing one of my older brothers that night.

He was in our neighborhood down Da Bottom, standing in front of the Chinese store. My son’s father went into the store, spoke with my brother for a minute or two.

I stayed in the car because our son was in the car seat in the backseat. Looking back on my son I could see my brother, who we called Block (because he had a block head) Hahaha standing on the Chinese store steps.

At that time I was 17 years old, with a month and a half-year old son, still in High School, no job and on welfare. However, I understood my life changed and wasn’t just responsible for myself. I was ready to take on my new role. This is something I wanted to express to my brother.

My brother embraced the fact that I had a child, but hey he was a big brother. He may have been slightly displeased, but he was still there for me.

When my son’s father returned back to the car, I was still looking at my brother I remember saying, I wanna get out and have a heart to heart with my brother. It was just something I felt I should have done. I really can’t explain it I just remember the feeling.

We ended up driving off and I said to myself, I’ll just rap with him when I see him again.

The next time I saw my brother Block, was on November 1, 1995. He had passed away from a drug overdose.

 

Here’s my point:

DON’T JUST LOOK BACK SAY SOMETHING

Do you have a match?

alittlesparkle

It’s easy for me to  “Spark” up a conversation with anyone, anywhere and at anytime. Working as a Janitor at the Hartsfield Atlanta Airport contributes to utilizing this gift.

Whenever I’m assigned to police the women’s restroom on a work day, normally I would greet women by saying, “Hello, come on in and have a seat” or  “Come on in, we’re open for business.”These two statements has caused women to crack up laughing. Invited others to add to the sentences, which led to “Sparking” up conversations. They’re “Inviting statements”. 

There we were in a “Public Restroom”, which pretty much has a reputation as a place that people are caution of using because they’re normally in bad shape, but in the ATL restrooms we have a girls night out Shawty.

One time a woman left, then came back and  said to me, “Thank you for being you. I was having a bad day and your joyous spirit helped me.” When she approached me, I didn’t recall seeing this woman enter the restroom that day.I gave her a hug because that touched me. It confirmed that, I was doing something right by sharing the joy I have in my heart.

Here’s my point:

You never know what someone maybe dealing with or going through. Also, you never know who is listening and watching.

When you have  “Joy in your heart”, share it with others.It won’t hurt to “Spark” up a conversation.

 

Ask the right questions

Back home in Philly, in my early 20’s, can’t remember exactly how but was reintroduced to an old flame. This man was incarcerated at the time.

To go back when we first met, this man was like my knight in shining armor. He came to my defense when my sons father set a car I brought on fire and he wanted to pretty much beat me up, since he saw me with another man. Not to mention, he was in a relationship with another woman and brought her to fight me. That day, as a matter of fact that whole week was crazy. I was only 18 at this time and still in High School.

Getting back to me and this man. We wrote letters, talked on the phone, and I went to visit him in prison, for about a year or so. He seemed to be “The One”. We even share the same birthday.

We made plans to get married and everything. I introduced him to my children. A little while after he was released he moved in with us. This was AFTER his other plan was already in motion.

He convinced me I was the only woman in his life, BUT, from my understanding, this man was seeing another woman. The two were robbing local stores and banks. And to make matters worse, people in the neighborhood thought I was the woman alongside of him.

I had no clue. It wasn’t until I got a phone call, saying he’d been arrested and to turn on the news. There was video footage of a man and woman robbing a bank. I can’t say  it was him in the footage, but from what I last heard he is serving 80 plus years in prison.

The point of sharing this is not to belittle this man. He was a very good dude, had a good heart but sometimes people can become a product of their environment, so people only do what they know.I don’t blame him for anything.

This is to express, how I realized I was looking at love in the wrong way and reasons.

I felt indebted to this man for having my back the first time we met. Went along with pursuing the relationship out of obligation, plus I was lonely.

But I had to go through these things to understand the importance of knowing what I am looking for in a relationship. I needed to ask myself the right questions. Like self, What are your expectations when trying to build a relationship?Can you both be friends after he’s been in jail 8 years already? Can he be institutionalized?(Just to name a few)

After going through a rough time with being humiliated, angry, tired of people asking me about money I didn’t know about or have, God gave me the strength to pick myself back up again and move on.

Proverbs 2:7

” He stores up sound wisdom for the upright: He is a shield to those who walk in integrity”

 

 

Daily Prompt: Dilemma

via Daily Prompt: Dilemma

Back on December 16, 2006 , I had an experience that changed my life. It was one of those situations of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

In my hometown of Philly, I grew up in an area called Da Bottom. It was just that. Full of good and bad times.It’s apart of town where everything goes on drug dealing, shootings, robberies, killings you name it, was and is there.

On this night I was getting myself ready to have a good time with my co-workers the next day. We were having a Christmas party. I never made it to the party.

Was on my way to one of the local stores, when all of a sudden shooting broke out. I ducked in front of a van until it stopped, then it started again. So I ran back towards my apartment complex.

Once I got into my apartment complex, started feeling pressure in my lower back. Took one hand to feel, only to see the palm of my hand full of blood. I’ve been shot in the back.

Thank God, I survived. Had to go to physical therapy for a few months to get my body back in shape, but my mental state was all out of shape.

I was living in fear. My thoughts were all over the place. Were the shooters looking for me? Would they try to kidnap my kids so I wouldn’t snitch?  I was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown.

The idea of relocating to another state was brought to my attention by a co-worker. Did my research on Atlanta, GA. It took about a year or so to get everything in order. Only to find out I needed to have permission from the state to relocate my daughter. Here’s where the DILEMMA kicks in.

There was a Child Custody and Child Support order in place with me and my daughter’s father. There had to be a court hearing in place BEFORE I could relocate with her. The court calendar was booked for the whole year.

I spoke with my daughter’s father to see if we could negotiate, no luck. I had already made arrangements with the house in Atlanta, Georgia. I paid the security deposit, had furniture, food. Found out about the schools, bus line, had things in order. Accept, the court hearing date.

I had no clue what to do. Didn’t want to get into any trouble for kidnapping or anything, but at the same time I was going to lose my mind if I stayed. The only thing I could think to do is leave and take my chances with the courts.

So we left for Atlanta,Georgia. That was on April 1, 2008, and we are still here. It turns out, magically I was able to get a court hearing date June 2008. We came back for court. My daughter’s father didn’t show up because he had a bench warrant out for non-payment of child support.

The judge read my petition. Granted me permission. She also expressed to me  had my daughter’s father shown up she would have had him arrested. Also, it was a good thing I was doing for me and my children and said Don’t let anybody tell me anything different.

The hearing last for about 15 minutes. Case closed.