There were two questions brought to my attention today.
Why do you think God allows bad things to happen to good people?
How do you think God wants you to pray in the middle of your pain?
A chapter or two back in my life, I had a lot of things going on. I was stuck. It was hard to find a job, didn’t have any “Real money” to get just the basic necessities, like toilet paper, soap and toothpaste.
Had two friends.They are in a relationship with each other, and are younger than me. However, they’re old enough to live on their own and have children. Asked the two, if my children and I could stay with them. We needed to move out of the apartment complex we lived in at that time.
Went over the Do’s and Don’ts. It was made clear what I can do and can not do financial wise, since I was working on finding a place for me and my children.But if I wasn’t busy, there was no problem watching their children. BUT they took that and ran with it.
It turns out, these people were looking for live in FREE babysitters, maids and a butler(my son was the butler). They became mean spirit people. Picking arguments, started acting funny about food.This people would sit and eat food in our faces and wouldn’t even offer a piece of bread. Would leave their kids in the apartment not even ask if we would watch them, they just left and we had to take the hint.
It got so bad that the”Lady of the house” would hide soap, toilet paper and toothpaste in their room. True story one time the“Lady of the house” threw a bar of soap in the trash, said it had hair on it”.(it didn’t). The lady even took the only T.V. in the apartment, in their room when she was ready to go to sleep every night.Usually when somebody wanted to watch something she wasn’t interested in. We were living in a prison.
This one time, the “Man of the house” wanted to have a one on one talk with me. I said ok. The plan this man had been for me to watch their children while they go to work, for FREE. But I declined to do so. Simply because, I was tired of the mistreatment and we needed our own space. I would not have been able to make any moves if I were stuck in the house watching 2 kids(and they came back whenever they felt like it).
These people really thought it was okay to schedule my time for me, and were upset because I flat-out told them, Man I am grown as hell, old enough to be y’all mom, ain’t no way in this world or any other world could you ever dictate my time(In that order in that order)in Momma Dee Voice
They knew I needed help with trying to get the finances needed to move into a new place. So I had to hustle and get on my grind, from the muscle.
Well, since I didn’t say, “OK”, the man hinted if I didn’t watch his kids we would have to leave. Had we left, we would’ve had to stay in a shelter.
To go back a little with the history of me and the two people, as I said they are younger than me. The man started out as a friend of my son. When me and my children moved to Georgia 8 years ago they became best of friends. So, he became my son from another mother, and he called me “Mom”.
He came over all the time, spend the night, played video games with my son, ate well like my children, he was treated like family. I’m from Philly, the “City of Brotherly Love”, so that’s all I know to show.
There were many of times this young man needed a listening ear I was there, a few dollars to help him with his family. Whatever I could do to help I did. No strings attached, or hidden agendas.
So after the hint, I said to myself, SELF you got to get the heck out of there because somebody is going to get hurt and it ain’t gonna be me. Real talk. The nerve of this man, asking so much of me as if I owed him something behind staying at his place of residence for about 2 to 3 months.
But this man didn’t understand, I started out on my own while he was still in Pampers just learning how to walk. I had to make grown up decisions for myself and a child starting at the age of 16.
I remember how rough it was plenty of times with finding a babysitter and the money to pay the babysitter. Been there done that, while trying to juggle all other obligations, for me was finishing High School back then.( I was in the 10th grade when I had my son)
Tried to help the two as best as I could, but they were vampire’s. They tried to suck everything out of me, to the point where there would be no room for me to do anything for myself.
My feelings were so hurt and I was angry at the same time. I couldn’t understand why we were being treated like this. But, I had to keep pushing. About a week later I had a job interview, got the job started about two weeks after that.
During that same timeframe, had another appointment, to participate as a Circle’s Leader with an organization called Circles, I was accepted.
To answer the first question, I feel God uses our pain for good.It was a good thing my children and I stayed with them. It helped us to see their “true colors”. We were shown what a one-sided friendship, and being used looks like first hand. Man people can change like the weather.
People can use your vulnerabilities to their advantage. It was good to see these people didn’t want to see us elevate.Yes, they are haters, like crabs in a brawl.And not to mention, they had a hustlers mentality.
In my opinion, they were hustling backwards.The both of them were in a dark place. They were trying to hide it, but trying to hide it made them go deeper into that place and it was easier to see.
To answer the second question. I think God wanted me to pray for a peace of mind. He wanted me to pray asking Him to remove the people, places and things that meant me no good, that would cause a stunt in my spiritual growth. He wanted me to pray for the strength, wisdom, and courage to keep Pushing no matter what was going on around me or to me, in the name of Jesus.Amen
There is power in prayer. Now, I have a peace of mind. My kids and I moved got our own place and never returned to that environment and never looked back. Don’t have to worry about toilet paper, soap and toothpaste being hidden or thrown in the trash(I still can’t believe that one).
Since I’ve been participating with Circles, I have an extended family, who has no interest in using me for their own personal reasons.
Everyone in our group has their own story. But what we do have in common is, we are working together to “Thrive”.We give to one another unconditionally because “Team work makes the dream work”.
This story’s intent was not to bad mouth the two or even discredit them. Instead it contributed to answering the two questions in a way it could be understood by whoever is interested in understanding.
Having my 1 GOD and trusting in Him, walking by faith and not by sight, those 99 Problems exist no more.
2 Corinthians 4:16-17 NLT
“This is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying our spirits are being renewed everyday. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever”.