We all want to be happy in life. Whether it’s being a happy homeowner. Happily married with children. Happy with the career of your dreams. We also want other’s around us to be happy. Have you ever noticed within yourself, the things we have said and done for other’s, including placing our needs to the back burner?
Let me share a few examples I realized about myself. Being the bearer of other’s happiness.
The Financial Crutch:
I found myself allowing people to depend on me. I would make myself available as if I were a 24 hour 7 eleven’s ATM. Don’t get me wrong, I believe we all need a helping hand every now and then.
It wasn’t until I literally became flat broke, I discovered a few things.
This is when I learned their were people who felt I let them down. A few choice words from both sides were said because of me not being able to “fix” things.
Solution to NOT being the financial crutch:
I can still assist but there has to be a cut off point. Example after going through my budget, let’s say I incorporate $50.00 a month as the allotted amount for financial assistance.
I made a firm decision not to go over this amount. Ensured I’d make it clear to the person(s) I’m assisting the allotted monthly amount is final.
The Emotional Crutch:
What we all have in common as human beings is, we all struggle with something. Some more than others. There were times I found myself having therapy sessions, free of charge. I made those persons problems my problems that I had to fix it. Wouldn’t rest until I did.
I convinced myself, I’m a tough cookie, who can take on anything. I’d be alright when my own personal crisis came up, I got it under control. This way of thinking, was wrong.
At one point never did get around to my own situations. They just piled up. The pile was so high and overwhelming it caused me to become emotionally unstable. This led to making irrational decisions for myself.
Solution to NOT being the emotional crutch:
I had to deal with my own situations and emotions first. The saying is true, how can you help someone else, if you can’t even help yourself first.
Here’s my point:
Within these two examples of the Financial crutch and the Emotional crutch, we need to be able to balance our own situations first. It doesn’t make you a bad, uncaring, selfish person.
When a helping hand is needed, be sure you’re positioned first.
Truth be told, you can’t give what you don’t have. How fair will that be to yourself?