Back on December 16, 2006 , I had an experience that changed my life. It was one of those situations of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
In my hometown of Philly, I grew up in an area called Da Bottom. It was just that. Full of good and bad times.It’s apart of town where everything goes on drug dealing, shootings, robberies, killings you name it, was and is there.
On this night I was getting myself ready to have a good time with my co-workers the next day. We were having a Christmas party. I never made it to the party.
Was on my way to one of the local stores, when all of a sudden shooting broke out. I ducked in front of a van until it stopped, then it started again. So I ran back towards my apartment complex.
Once I got into my apartment complex, started feeling pressure in my lower back. Took one hand to feel, only to see the palm of my hand full of blood. I’ve been shot in the back.
Thank God, I survived. Had to go to physical therapy for a few months to get my body back in shape, but my mental state was all out of shape.
I was living in fear. My thoughts were all over the place. Were the shooters looking for me? Would they try to kidnap my kids so I wouldn’t snitch? I was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown.
The idea of relocating to another state was brought to my attention by a co-worker. Did my research on Atlanta, GA. It took about a year or so to get everything in order. Only to find out I needed to have permission from the state to relocate my daughter. Here’s where the DILEMMA kicks in.
There was a Child Custody and Child Support order in place with me and my daughter’s father. There had to be a court hearing in place BEFORE I could relocate with her. The court calendar was booked for the whole year.
I spoke with my daughter’s father to see if we could negotiate, no luck. I had already made arrangements with the house in Atlanta, Georgia. I paid the security deposit, had furniture, food. Found out about the schools, bus line, had things in order. Accept, the court hearing date.
I had no clue what to do. Didn’t want to get into any trouble for kidnapping or anything, but at the same time I was going to lose my mind if I stayed. The only thing I could think to do is leave and take my chances with the courts.
So we left for Atlanta,Georgia. That was on April 1, 2008, and we are still here. It turns out, magically I was able to get a court hearing date June 2008. We came back for court. My daughter’s father didn’t show up because he had a bench warrant out for non-payment of child support.
The judge read my petition. Granted me permission. She also expressed to me had my daughter’s father shown up she would have had him arrested. Also, it was a good thing I was doing for me and my children and said Don’t let anybody tell me anything different.
The hearing last for about 15 minutes. Case closed.
R.O.O.T.S. 
Love or should i say lust was a thing i fell for at a very young age could it be that i was trying to fill a void i had from losing my father at a young age or simply me being a preteenager going threw emotional changes. I was the type to ride til the wheels fall off if you rocking then im the one in the front seat Rollin and for that my life changed tragically i found myself in a situation that i was powerless over didnt know who to run to were to go how i was gonna get threw it or what to do i explained my story time and time again to only hear i told you so or it gets better in time . i was bending corners looking over my sholder locking myself in bathrooms at events sheltering myself in the house with my children feeling helpless i lost myself asking god a million times whyy me was i that bad. Did i really deserve this i was once out going friendly now i dont know who to trust family included felt like the whole world was against me….As of today long year’s i am employed in another city trying to let my good deeds out way my bad and putting god first in every step that i take living with PTSD is a very hard thing to do but nothing is impossible when you have faith on god when you believe in yourself nothing or no one can stop you never give up even when your at your weakest may seem like forever is far away but just for today try somthing new because you arr worth it we are worth it united we stand soul survivers
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Very brave and I applaud you
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