I was watching Stevie Harvey show today. A woman got up seeking advice pertaining to an uncomfortable situation she had been facing for quit some time.This woman is married and her husband’s family would host family gatherings. On the invite list was his Ex-Wife for each gathering.
From listening to this woman and reading her body language it was evident, she’d felt uncomfortable and displaced. She mentioned she would isolate herself from the party behind these feelings. Like go in the kitchen and do dishes or something.
This took me back to a time where I’ve felt this form of discomfort. I was never married to my son’s father but we had a relationship and a son. After we broke up, when my son was very young, it took some time but I got over it.
Here’s how it felt uncomfortable for me. At that time me and my sons grandmom lived right next door to one another (For years). We could open our doors and literally see in each other’s apartments. We did that a lot. During that time, in the projects we lived in, it was a thing we could do.
At that time we did have a good relationship, despite her son and I not being in one. She acknowledged me as her grandson’s mother. I truly appreciated that. However, I couldn’t understand how it was okay for her son to have a current girlfriend over and he’d just walk pass his son and I as if we did not exist.
Not sharing to discredit her or him but instead, sharing my “Emotional status”. It was very uncomfortable. Weird energy I had to face, and looks. Even senseless arguments.
It was even weird for my son’s father because he had to prove a point to his current girlfriend him and I weren’t “messing around”. That was a portion of why he wasn’t in our son’s life as much as he should have been.
This one girlfriend was a trip, had to the nerve to knock on my door.At an inappropriate time of night, drunk talking crazy ready to fight.I was mad so, we fought. The thing was him and I were not together, and they weren’t either. He only gave me and ride to the store that night.But it made sense after deep thought, I had something she didn’t, a son by him, and she had a problem with that.
Here’s my point:
I never did any harm or say anything bad to this woman, but it didn’t matter. I had to realize this woman was envious of my position as baby mom. From her negative actions towards me,she wanted the role of baby mom and/or wifey.
Not sure the reasons behind their break-up, but she was angry, and took it out on me. I realized this woman would rather create animosity towards me, instead of just simply moving on with her life.
For me I had to check myself as well. I can’t control who likes me or not, but I can control how I respond. I was mad at myself after I went toe to toe with this lady. But you know what each time I saw her after that, I just walked in the opposite direction. Never had any more issues with her since then.