I’ve had many irritating moments for a number of different reasons. So many, I can’t even share them all. What I can say is, I was irritated because “Emotions” got the best of me. Most of the time is was an “Angry” one.
This emotion caused me to say and do things that didn’t line up with my “Intentional Characteristics“. Don’t get me wrong sometimes you do have to blow off some steam, or let people know, not to try your gangsta LOL. But, for me, I went to different planets. This brought out the “crazy lady Roxanne”.(My alter ego).
I became irritated with myself. Had no “Control of my emotions”. Not having control ALLOWED my emotions to dictate my circumstances, which led to my not so good actions at times.
I’ve been known to be “A little firecracker” from time to time LOL. Running around acting crazy, but at the same time, was cool. While in “my wilderness” a few years back, lost control all around the board.
Would go back to things that happened years ago that made me angry. Went all the way back somewhere, brought it to the present moment, only to get angry as H. E. Double Hockey Stick. Angry, because people didn’t respond or listen to me the way I wanted them to.
Angry, because I felt people were trying to dictate my life. My favorite line was, “I’M GROWN YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO” LOL. Was driving myself insane and creating my own madness. To add ,some was self-inflicted, other stuff I didn’t deserve from other people.
Sitting around revisiting Old stuff wasn’t getting me anywhere.It hit me one day. I was stuck in “OLD SEASONS”. Had to do something about that.
“I had to think about what I was thinking about”. In doing this, was able to practice “controlling my emotions”, that led to controlling my ACTIONS.
Here’s my point(s):
Philippians 3:13-14 says:
13) No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not received it but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,
14) I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
Letting go of the past does not mean forgetting about it or deleting it all together. The past that includes people, places and things affiliated with that time, there’s no way to forget. It can be suppressed, but it’s still there.
For me it meant, forgetting all the past mistakes, sins, failures, relationships, just to name a few things I kept holding on to. Had I continued, it would still take away from my spiritual and emotional growth and moving forward, to what’s ahead of me. My actions had to line up with what it takes to move forward, “After Forgetting”
One things for certain, two things for sure, I’m in no position to control anybody else, But Rhonda.
I’ve learned, to learn from my past. I can’t change what was said or happened, nor should I hang onto it because I didn’t like to end result.
Like missed opportunities, that’s ok still keep pushing.Focus on what I need to do different if and when the opportunity presents itself again.
Communication is one of my gifts. I run my mouth all the time, just needed to and still working on my presentation/approach when dealing with people, places and things.
I have realized, there’s better ways of handling people, places, and things without turning into Roxanne. So, I am grateful for being irritated at times, it has truly inspired me.